


Video Evidence

by RedRowan



Series: Stars and Horns [10]
Category: Captain America (Movies), Daredevil (TV), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Alternate Universe - Gender Changes, F/M, Female Matt Murdock, Fluff, Post-Captain America: Civil War (Movie), Post-Season/Series 02, Rule 63, Sex Education, Spider-Man: Homecoming Spoilers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-11
Updated: 2017-07-11
Packaged: 2018-11-30 16:05:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 777
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11466984
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RedRowan/pseuds/RedRowan
Summary: Mattie finds some...compromising videos of Steve online.





	Video Evidence

**Author's Note:**

> Hey guys! Wasn't planning on a new instalment, but Homecoming came out this weekend, and Steve's cameo just opened up way too many possibilities for everyone to make fun of him. :)

“There’s a whole channel on YouTube!” Mattie crows.

Steve puts the pillow over his head, but that’s not enough to block out the sound of his own voice from her laptop.

“So you’ve got detention…” comes from the laptop sitting on Mattie’s thighs. Steve groans into the mattress and reaches out to try and steal the computer. Mattie expertly lifts it away from his grasping hand and Steve finds his arm suddenly trapped under her leg. He pulls his head out from under the pillow to see that she’s pinned his wrist between her knees.

“How did I not _know_ about these?!” she says. She's giggling madly.

 _I could just flip her over._ Steve probably has enough leverage to send her ass over teakettle on the bed, but that might destroy the laptop, and they’d have to email Natasha to get them another secure one.

“Well, you weren’t in high school after 2012,” Steve says, trying to pull his arm out from under her leg instead. Mattie tightens her knees together as she hits the spacebar, and then Steve can hear the video titles being read to her.

“Captain America’s Fitness Challenge. American History with Captain America.”

“Why did you _do_ these, anyway?” Mattie says.

“Fury thought we could use some good publicity, and I said I wanted to do something that would help kids. This is what the Department of Education came up with,” Steve grumbles.

“Captain America Talks about Changes,” continues the computer. “Safe Sex with Captain America.”

“No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no…” Steve keeps repeating as Mattie’s face lights up and she releases his arm, darting across the room before he can grab at her. She triumphantly stabs at the keyboard, and Steve hears his own voice again.

“Sex,” the computer says in his voice, “is a natural part of any romantic relationship.”

“No shit,” Mattie says as Steve flops face down on the bed.

“Just tell me when it’s over.”

“I’m thinking of putting it on repeat.”

“Don’t you dare.”

“And I’m definitely showing all of these to Bucky when he gets out of cryo. Do you think Sam knows about these already?”

Steve looks up.

“You wouldn’t,” he says.

“Oh, I would,” she says, grinning.

“Condoms,” says the computer in Steve’s voice, “are the only form of birth control that successfully protect against STIs…”

“ _Please_ tell me this includes you putting a condom on a banana,” Mattie says.

Steve waves his hand at the computer as he sits up. “Which my friend, your health teacher, will now demonstrate,” the computer says.

“Cop-out,” Mattie says.

Steve pounces. He manages to get one arm around Mattie’s waist and the other hand around the laptop, successfully separating the two. He tosses Mattie onto the bed and turns off the video.

“Wait! I want to hear about the other methods of birth control!” she says, clambering up. Steve puts the laptop down and catches her around the waist, landing on top of her on the bed.

“I think we’ve got that part figured out,” he says, pinning her down as she squirms.

“Well,” she says, smiling wickedly. She jerks her head towards the bedside table. “Why don’t you show me, then? Since you’re the expert.”

Steve kisses her then, remembering the person he’d been when he’d shot those videos. It had been the summer after the Battle of New York. He remembers shooting the sex ed video, talking about condoms and thinking of the pretty blind girl who had taken him to bed.

 _Yes, we had condoms. I_ was _in the Army._

He thinks of all the time he wasted, when he could have been with her.

“What is it?" Mattie says, her eyebrows furrowed as he pulls away from the kiss.

He leans his weight onto one elbow so he can cup her face with the other hand. She closes her eyes, smiling faintly.

"I love you,” he says. It’s not enough, just three words, to tell her that he’s been in love with her ever since those first few days in Hell’s Kitchen. But she puts her hand on his chest, over his heart, and he knows she understands.

“I love you, too.” She leans up and kisses him. “Even with the videos.”

He rolls his eyes before he starts to undress her. She teases him about proper condom use until he shuts her up by making her moan loudly, the only words she can form being “Yes,” and “Steve.” As she drifts off afterwards, he holds her against him and starts trying to come up with a plan to convince her to never show the videos to Bucky.


End file.
